Teaching Children To Be Stubborn

by Alaina on March 25, 2013

How do you teach children determination? No, seriously, how? If you ask my husband he will tell you I am a very stubborn person. I like to say IMAG0006that I am not stubborn, but determined. Because of this I think I appreciate that quality in others. When something comes up around the house that needs to be fixed or we are working on a project sometimes my husband gets the point where he thinks it is impossible and gives up. I have a hard time letting things like that go. I have to research and try and try again and then try some more before I am really willing to say the task is beyond my abilities.

All three of my older children seem to have very little determination but the oldest, Tom, especially. If he is trying to do something and finds it difficult he gives up right away or asks for help. I try to encourage him to keep trying and sometimes if forced he will but he never seems to learn from the experience that if you keep trying you can often accomplish things that seem difficult at first. On the other hand, my youngest child is full of all sorts of determination and has been since he was a toddler. He is fiercely independent. He has learned to do everything earlier than the other kids. Dressing himself, putting on his own shoes, riding his bike. Tom would have let me continue dressing him until he was 8 years old probably if he had his way. My youngest insisted on doing everything himself from a very young age, almost to the other extreme. I would try to help him with things and he would insist he could do it. It required a lot of waiting around and patience on my part to stand there and watch him without stepping in to help but I appreciated the determination. That is why when we recently went roller skating with him for the first time I wasn’t surprised that by the time we left he was a pro. He got out there and fell and fell and then fell some more. He cried a little. He got off and rested a couple of times but when I asked him if he wanted to quit, the answer was no. By the end he was speeding around the rink like a fearless pro. Personally, I think being stubborn and determined can get you far in life. I know there are many things in my own life I would have given up on if I had not been so determined. So, can you teach this quality in your children? If so, I would love to hear how or is it a innate characteristic that some children are just born with?

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