I know, I haven’t written in forever. It has been a whirlwind of a couple months and now we are in that last six week mad dash to finish homeschool before it gets warm and I lose all focus.

Anyways, I was thinking earlier this week about how many times women are our own worst enemies. I think the web buzz about Hilary Rosen and Ann Romney is what stirred the original thoughts in my head. Starting in middle school it seems we turn on each other, judging, ridiculing, and being just plain mean. Girls commonly view each other as the competition. Whatever  the reason for this, it doesn’t completely go away as we get older. We still look at each other and judge. Sometimes in our heads to ourselves, sometimes by gossiping to another friend, or maybe even some under the breath muttering.

We have probably all been there when we had a toddler throwing a fit and you see a Mom looking at you across the grocery aisle and you just know they are judging you. We are the first to criticize other Moms. We think we would never let our children behave that way or we would handle it so much better than them when in reality we have no idea how those children or those Moms behave on a regular basis. They might be perfectly angelic children who would put ours to shame on any other day.

On the other hand, how many times do we hand out a compliment to Moms we see in public when their children are very well behaved? Older women are better at this. Grandmas are the first to tell you how good your kids were in the restaurant or on the airplane, etc. Maybe being in a different phase of life helps them no longer view us as the competition and maybe they also remember how hard it was. How often do you hear compliments like that from other Moms with kids the same age as yours?

I am sure we all have good women friends we can talk honestly to and not feel judged. I know I do and I should hope everyone has at least one of those. We can disclose stuff we are working through with our kids, behavioral problems, setbacks, etc without feeling like our friends are going to criticize us. Many times, however, women who are strangers or just acquaintances are the ones we look at and make some kind of judgement about them or their kids.  I really think women and Moms should be each others biggest cheerleaders instead of our harshest critics. Instead of judging each other we should think of times we have been in their shoes and encourage each other instead. We are capable of rooting each other on in the hardest of times and patting each other on the back in the best of times.

This morning I received an email from a Mom who I do not know besides the fact that she teaches my girls in a knitting club. I have only met her briefly but she took the time to send me an email for the sole purpose of complimenting me on my girls. It was just a little five line email but it made my day. She didn’t even say anything that spectacular but the fact that she thought it was worth sending me an email over was great.

“I just have to email you to compliment you about your girls…
they are intensely focused and patient with knitting!
And besides that, I am having such a great time with them!
D—— is so adorable, and S—– is so very down to earth…
If I were 9, I’d want them for my best friends ”

I always notice other kids who are very well behaved or kind or have wonderful manners. I know my kids are generally well behaved but it is so nice to realize someone else noticed something like this. From now on I am going to put more effort in to actually saying something when I notice these things. Not only to the kids which I do sometimes, but to the Moms as well. Moms need a pat on the back from time to time to tell us we are doing something right and we should be the ones cheering each other on.